this entry needs no title :)

hi, i wish that all of you have a happy and meaningful day today (esp you aman, mak is on her way!). well, it's raining now and i just think that it's a perfect time to walk down the memory lane. at almost end of journey, i surprisingly found these little pieces. i picked them up, took a closer look, and i just realized that each of them brought a deep meaning to me. so here i share.

a medical record belongs to abah. i remind you his name; ISMAIL YAKUB :)

***

an ECG that also belongs to abah

i regret that i never know that abah suffered from heart problem since 2001. luckily(?), this medical report told the details. only today. thankfully i have a doctor sister around to help me understand a little bit of the report. we both shocked. abah had never been that weak in front of us. oh abah!

***

and these, individual's folder of my siblings created by abah. five of us; alifah, lokman, bahiah, 'adani, aminuddin. another surprise.



careful, and see how abah actually wanted my name spelt. 'ADANI. let's go explore the folder. i show you some ok.

***

surprise surprise surprise. certificates of mine from PRIMARY SCHOOL. abah kept this!

***

oh exam results when i was in form 2 until form 5!


and this remind me how i used to be.

***

friends, still remember my abah? let me refresh..

let me spell out once again; ABAH.

spelling is the best thing i could ever do. i would love to say it loud but there would be no answer i know ;)

al-fatihah..

***

time passes by and we are now towards the end of 2008. i pray that we'll be blessed with many good things in this coming 2009. and i think i would like to thank cik ann for always highlighting those beautiful lines;

'happiness keeps you sweet, trials make you strong, sorrows keep you human, failure keeps you humble, success keeps you glowing, and GOD keeps you going..'

very true now i know :)

to all,

HAPPY 2009!!!!!!

***

**this is my best entry of the year, dont you think? ;) **

photos

here are some photos taken on ummi's day. we left early when the bride was still not ready and as the result, we got no chance to capture ummi in her wedding dress. those photos look more like we were 'celebrating' the chance to meet each other on her big day, kan?

***

***

*photos by ctnor*

o yeah december update!

oh perhaps i dont really miss words..so im telling you this first experience of mine just this way..it was raya korban..

***

btw, i did attend ummi's wedding reception yesterday with ctnor, wani, pn mahani and sarah :) yeay i made it!

i always tried to read this old Golden Swan

but i'm still at that first page

since the first day of school break.

i have problem with the font i guess.

aiyohh!

but i'll give another simpler try

to at least turn the page

and read the lines.

btw,

im currently loving this song.

come, sing along.

***

Kau membiusku dengan cinta

Cinta yang malu kukatakan

Kau membiusku dengan cinta

Sampai aku tak bisa berkata
Kau membiusku sampai aku jadi sering melamun

Memikirkan kita bisakah bersama

Aku dibius Cinta

Cintamu yang tak ada tandingan

Namun mungkin tak bisa

Entah ku tak tahu…
Kita yang malu hati untuk mengakui saling cinta

Usaha sekeras hati bersama selamanya

Aku dibius cinta…

*OST Cicakman 2 *

01.11.08

thanks to these charming ladies

for the cake


and oh DR. FATIN!

reason to be happy

Attended cousin’s engagement reception on 26th Oct 2008 at Carcosa, KL. The photos are still in progress I guess and I hope to hear from maksu soon once the photos are ready. It was a memorable night that I also had Aman with me and seeing him mixed with the family.

On another different note, I’ll be celebrating my 25th birthday this coming Saturday but since I spent the past few days in KL, I surprisingly received a present from Aman, who else! So say heellooooooooooo to this clone of my Sonia. Mine is bronze in colour.


Thanks Aman:) Well I can remember the last time I bought a hand phone was in 2002, that nokia 3310 you know which rarely found (or no more found) at any display counter today. Oh I wonder if any retailer would still accept a trade-in! Then my brother amea, the one who used to ejek2 my Nokia 3310 had kindly gave me another smaller model of nokia (I cant remember the series) but still work the same function cam 3310 gak. And finally yesterday I got this Sonia, of course I felt happy la kan. Aman asked me to always keep that old Nokia kot2 besok2 harga naik balik sbb jadik barang antik! Huhu.

Well, let’s talk about yesterday. Went out to the middle of KL to attend an, I would like to say it here as appointment. Things only settled after 12 noon and I then asked Aman to fetch me so that we can go out for lunch. He only went back to office at almost 3 hehe and I decided to spend the rest of the afternoon at Suria Park while waiting for him finishing his work. My favorite areas? The swimming pool and playground. I could hear and see cheerful laughter and many happy faces of kids together with their parents.

There were two kids running towards the swing and I could clearly hear this;

“ayah ayah, meh tolak adik!”

“a’ah, abang pun nk tolak”

And the father quickly do as they wished. Another laughter!

Then came this one little Indian girl with her mommy.

“Mommy I want to play this..”

“Ok five minutes ya!” so her mom replied. And guess what the girl then say;

“No no, I want 10 minutes please”. And then again, another laughter.

Oh happy kids. They made me feel good that day.

And me, I was happy in my own way too. I am happy. AT LEAST FOR NOW.

And friends, I hope that you are happy too, not only for now, but always.

bila cinta diuji

mungkin cinta paling sinonim dengan usia remaja, kerana pada waktu itulah lumrah cinta mula menjalar dalam diri setiap makhluk yang bergelar insan yang mencetuskan naluri ingin mencintai dan dicintai. paling tidak pun, seseorang itu sudah kenal perkataan cinta, mula memikirkan cinta atau bercakap mengenai cinta yang sememangnya mempunyai pengertian yang luas. sesetengah individu mungkin mampu mengendalikan perasaan tersebut dengan baik, dan ada juga yang sebaliknya. maklumlah, agaknya seronok pertama kali dilanda perasaan sebegitu.

namun sebaik usia meningkat, kita semakin menyedari bahawa cinta itu sebenarnya sesuatu yang sangat sukar untuk dimengertikan. zaman remaja seronok 'tackle-menackle'. apabila usia menginjak ke fasa baru, kita diusik pula dengan perasaan bila dirisik untuk dijadikan pasangan hidup seseorang di alam rumah tangga. pada waktu itu, mungkin pengertian cinta menjadi lebih serius dan berlandaskan tanggungjawab.

di usia ini, beberapa hari sebelum menginjak ke angka 25, berada dalam dunia pekerjaan dan bergaul dengan masyarakat, saya mula merasakan bahawa cinta adalah sesuatu yang subjektif dan memang sukar. saya akui, saya kini dikelilingi individu-individu yang mempunyai pelbagai masalah rumahtangga. entahlah, saya sendiri tidak faham kenapa saya dipilih sebagai tempat meluahkan masalah sedangkan saya belumpun melangkah ke alam itu. kadang-kadang terfikir juga saya, di mana indahnya alam rumahtangga. tidakkah seindah pertama kali dilanda rasa cinta. kenapa wujud perbezaan rasa sebelum dan selepas?

kisah 1,
seorang kawan saya baru sahaja berkahwin dan menjadi isteri nombor dua dengan persetujuan paksa rela daripada si isteri pertama. boleh dikatakan setiap hari saya mendengar luahan hati isteri muda ini tentang kehidupan barunya sebagai orang kedua. sudah tentu banyak yang pahit daripada yang manis. dan saya, angguk-angguk saja, sekali-sekala berfikir apakah pengajaran yang saya mungkin dapat atau sekadar berdiam agar fikiran dan perasaan saya tidak dipengaruhi oleh kisah sebegitu.

kisah 2,
juga seorang kawan yang asyik mengadu bila si suami mula bercinta dengan orang lain. yang ini, saya lebih rela membiarkan kata-katanya masuk telinga kanan keluar telinga kiri. jika tidak, saya terpaksa berkali-kali memberitahu diri bahawa tidak semua lelaki begitu.

bila mendengar kisah sebegitu, terlintas di fikiran saya, adakah cinta mereka sedang diuji?

cinta remaja
cinta rumahtangga
cinta suami orang

itukah peringkat cinta? oh takutnya yang ketiga itu. anda pernah? paling tidak pun ada suami orang yang mula meluahkan perasaannya pada anda. di usia yang semakin menginjak, tiada yang mustahil kan?

memang bukan mustahil.

bila perkara sebegini berlaku, mungkin itulah tanda bahawa cinta sedang diuji. manusia, sedarlah, cinta adakalanya diuji!

dan untuk diri saya, saya doakan agar saya dapat terus memelihara cinta yang saya ada, cinta yang saya miliki, hanya untuk seseorang yang benar-benar saya sayangi. hanya satu selamanya.

apapun pengertian cinta..

rini, this post is for u!

oh rini, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!!


hi semua :) ni rini. cantik kan? hehe. i know her since our first year kat utm, bersama ngn atul. satu course, sebilik, kdg2 sepinggan, sebantal, secawan dan sebagainya. and mostly, she's the person whom i feel comfortable enough to share my story about me and aman. haha. sbb die xknal aman kot. mm, bile dh jadi roomate, kdg2 baik, kdg2 gaduh. haha. rini, kite slalu gak gaduh kan smpi masam2 muka. tapi cool balik. tu yg best. byk la citer2 dulu pasal kami berdua dan group mbr yg len tapi panjang plak nnt nk citer kat sini:) rindu plak zaman kat utm. tapi yg saya ingat sampai hari ni, macam mana rini ni jaga saya masa demam dlu. kol 1, 2 pagi pun die still lap badan saya ngan tuala basah. she took a very good care of me. thank you thank you thank you.

last year, masa mula2 keje kat seremban, rini n mak rini pun slalu support. pernah nangis depan mak rini sbb tension n rindu nk balik umah. hehe. tapi, rini n her mom mmg veeeeery nice.

rini, a lot to say here i know but the simplest is, i'm glad to know you, always. i pray that u live a happy life ahead n cepat2 jumpa ur prince charming:) be happy keh. you always deserve the best. i love you, friend!

no photos

hari raya was meaningful as always, Alhamdulillah. some members of the family were married this year which means that they were having to celebrate hari raya at in-laws' as well, but thank God that we managed to find a day to get all families gathered. it was friday and i felt sorry that i could not attend some invites, esp cik ann (oh nama cik ann disebut lagi). well, the gathering was special that we received a visit from some special people and this moment will be kept forever in my heart i know.

no photos.

i wish i could upload some photos to share here so that i dont have to find words to describe the every moment and the feels it bring but i dont have any. the camera was there i know but all of us were busy doing the i-dont-know-what-we-did-but-we-enjoyed-the-moment-of-it. a lot to say but i better i keep it to my heart only. dont blame me. blame words. they never want to 'show up'.

no photos.

now everyone has made their move leaving me with the memories and the feeling comes again.
rindu.

no photos.

salam aidilfitri

i'm taking this opportunity to wish SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI to all friends. i'm down to my knees apologizing for my mistakes, and I pray that all of us will enjoy a meaningful hari raya that will last forever in our heart, Insya Allah.

nk borak ngn sape ek..

aiyohhh. pimples here and there. can u see? kalu xnmpk pun sah2 sbb camera trick. actually resdung memburukkan lagi keadaan. alergi sepi. the last menu I ate was nasi kerabu (+budu+seafood+) has absolutely made my skin worse. I'm still searching for the right treatment or maybe pills but takut nk try. any suggestion? i need recomendation so that gamba 'sebelum' ni akan ada gamba 'selepas'. ala2 iklan lisa cosmetic or tia amelia or whatsoever. i wish a healthy skin, please....cam cikann ke..jelesnye......;)


well. went to KL last Wednesday to send my dear lil brother to KLIA. he left for chezh republic on Thursday 1255am (oh it was actually Friday) after spending 2months of summer holiday here at home. I told him not to miss me but now .. I kind of miss him. I should have feel good that I can conquer the remote control to watch any channel I like, I should be thankful that I can do my work without a lil brother kacau2 me around, no more yelling, no more buli2, but at the same time I should have also understand this feeling of missing this kind of someone when he's no more around for a long while. ingat lagi penat kejar adikku sorg nih keliling dlm umah gara2 dia melarikan nsetku untuk curi2 baca msg. huhu. well, this is just the same feeling when I first sent him to KLIA last year. days go on. i just have to pray for his happiness and success and waiting for him to come back again another year.

mm, tadi kat school kan, a few nurses datang tuk check budak2 dajah satu ni. i was on duty so i welcomed the team and brought them to a room. I checked the list of standard 1 pupils and everyone was there so I let the nurses carry on with their task at about 9.45am. so I continued my classes and teaching and teaching until 12 .30 pm and suddenly one of the kids told me about a missing boy. ohh xperasan plak. guess what. this boy named haziq semunyi bawah tangga blok depan sbb takut junpe nurse!!! padahal his mother is also a nurse. (but ya, i never see my father as a teacher. he was just only a father). tak sangka plak. budak haziq ni punya la ganaz dlm kelas tapi takut nurse smpi nangis2 bila teacher die ni cuba pujuk. finally we called his mother to come fetch him. haha. kids kids. alaaaa, dlu mase dajah satu pun saye nangis gak lagi2 kalu doktor gigi yang datang. terpaksalah cikgu or kawan2 yg lain panggil kakak saye tuk teman.

mm. what to cook petang ni ek. alah xyah pk la. my mother will do i know. haha. i just have to help her. cooking and i? we are not yet a best friend. but i hope we will be.


...

...I wanna text aman la..


till then ya!

sorry but,

please hear me once again.

well, yes. I have something.
I try not to write this but I just ….


friends who have been to my place would notice the closest home of a neighbour located very next to my house. a home belongs to a very helpful couple of husband and wife whom we, especially mom do always count on.

It was 2.30am.
an ‘emergency’ call from the wife led mom, grandmom and sis to their house.

here’s the why.
2 hours before.
the husband wanted to take shower so the wife went to bed first without any expectation. thankfully (I mean it), the wife awakened at nearly 2 and found no husband by her side (u know how it likes?). with no delay, she looked for the husband and found his dead body lying on the bathroom floor (no no don’t want to know what it likes). In that circumstance, nobody could tell the exact time of death. It could be at any time between 12.30 to 2am.

12.30 to 2 am?
bathroom?

Abah! the occurrence is nearly the same. the difference is mom was there accompanying abah to the toilet (in our case) that mom finally could expect the unexpected and led abah lying on the kitchen floor so right before his death.

I was ok but,


I only felt the drops on my cheek an hour later. I wiped it away quick with the back of my hand before falling asleep again in front of the tv showing Tadarus Al-Quran.

So I think I learn that I don’t have to promise not to cry again. It’s just enough to know that I’m actually ok and will be ok.




Al-Fatihah for both..

better late?

too soon that i already have a favourite student; a little boy in year 3. cute? nope he's not. but he always makes me calm with his very own way of smiling, that i have to eventually say that word, cute. yes a cute smile, a smile that often blow my anger away.

kids oh kids. i keep looking back to my good old days at primary school. the pupils, myself, and mostly the teachers. the way they were; the patience and strong spirit.

cikgu seman, cikgu ramli, cikgu halim,

cikgu busra (math teacher yg sgt garang),

cikgu abd rahman (garang jgk),

sir suhaimi, cikgu rosuna, cikgu hussein,

cikgu ahmad the headmaster (he was very kind to me).

those are the best teachers i always remember. the commitment, the creativity, the patience. and now they are my inspiration. i feel happy for the undescribable way i feel today. and i hope it's never too late to realize.

naughty kids? it's ok. i was there too. those teachers were there too. and they made it through.




Selamat Berpuasa!!

ewalk's

~22Aug2008~

she looked gorgeous. n mesra kamera:) tgh wat lawak pun smpt kasi pose maut. she always is.

"yeeehaaaaaa!!!"

Laaaaa...!!

I was at Tok Bali from 6-8 aug for UPSR Camp and as the result, I couldn’t attend that majlis akad nikah of a relative of mine on 8aug. Felt very tired that day so I just made a quick view on their photos once I was home.

***

The reception then was held a week later, yesterday 17aug2008. Thought that I have to be there celebrating the newly-wed so I dressed simple as I always am and made a move to her place at 3 o’clock.

The groom was still on his way when I reached there. So I met the bride and took some photos. Oh she looked different on her day, of course la kan.

Mmm..the groom wasn’t still show up. Tunggu lagi.

and FINALLY....

Laaa...this Hasif...!

surprise surprise surprise :)

(^_^)

More photos? Jom :)

Ni pengantin tgh tukar baju..

I admire that little girl tapi susahnya nk ambik gamba berdua ngn die je..

camni pun okla..

gamba ni..

gamba ni..

gamba ni pun..

I took all these photos by myself. Layan jgk. Bagus2. New cousin of my cousins.

Hehe Selamat Berbahagia anyway.

a weekend to remember

ala2 a walk to remember la plak:)


Thursday (31st July 2008)

i left school immediately after class and reached home at about 1.10pm. it was a sudden decision so i packed my things immediately after arriving home. everyone was doing busy as well getting all the stuffs ready and we finally departed at 3pm. five of us; mom, grandmom, kyah, adin and me. guess what? we were heading to KL! :)

Alhamdulillah sampai KL at 9pm, my aunt’s (maksu) at Taman Desa Minang. ayah loh and family were also there and we actually were celebrating (again) their new in-law but this time at maksu’s place. maksu decided to hold the makan2 right after mom informed our visit to KL. so, me and family, we were the big surprise for them. hehe xdelaa:) just 13 of us tp meriah and happy.


Friday (1st Aug 2008)

started the journey at 10am and this time, we were on our way to Melaka. a cousin passed away last month so we took this opportunity to visit the family and the grave. PUSARA AMAN; a very truly pusara aman located very near to a beach. can u imagine the peaceful it brings?

and oh. mom and grandmom had always wanted to go to Masjid Wilayah KL so we made it on our way back to KL. kepala pusing jugakla mencari toilet and bilik wudu that we finally masuk je tempat wudu lelaki. hehe. mm, understood i guess. tried to read the pelan but it was such a waste of time. i could just conclude that ruang sembahyang muslimin is at the 3rd floor, ruang sembahyang muslimat is at the 4th floor, and bla2 rooms and dewan at 1st and 2nd floor. ladies? sorry that I couldn’t tell:)
were home at 6.30pm.

promised to spend the nite at ayah loh’s at Wangsa Melawati so we went there at 7.30pm. a lil tired tapi suddenly lagi we all the cousins felt like going out. it was 10pm and we headed to Dataran Merdeka. jalan2-sesat-cket2-tp-ok-sambil-pusing2 KL till almost 1am and stopped at Stable Steak House, Kg Baru for steak moment. yes it was too late but mothers didn’t even call us. beautiful weird that we thought they might call at least to know our location or to know that we were ok hehe anyway thank you thank you for understanding;) went home right after finishing the meal, and it almost 2am when we knocked the front door.

[adin, me, kakyah and fa (cousin)]

[amea, adin, kakyah, cousins; ilah & fa]

Saturday (2nd Aug 2008)

breakfast and borak2. the members except me headed to maksu’s first and aman picked me around 10am. so, me and aman and another light breakfast at mamak. mom reminded me not to take long so we moved to maksu’s 5mins before 11. makan2 lagi and borak2 lagi and delay and delay and we only made our move to hometown at 12noon. huhu. bye maksu. bye amea. bye aman!

arrived at 7pm kot.


Sunday (3rd Aug 2008)

OMG, school!!!!! but i still miss that weekend. too lazy to write here but i just couldn’t stop the play of yesterday and days before that i finally wrote them word by word here.

thank you memory but please fade away for a little while. i’ll recall you at any time later, i know for sure but please not now.

sudden, short, and simple, tapi best.

but it’s time now to get back to reality, restart and move strong with that actually a good feel, as it is supposed to be.

there in KL

::currently thinking of them::

1st nephew, 2nd niece with my lil bro (he's home now)

***

my sis & 3rd niece

***

oh miss her miss her. that 3rd niece, she's 4 months

***

mm, eh. tunduk plak ;)

::and always::

at this kind of moment

aman sent me his photos..
telling me bout his new hair
and his fever!!
i pray that he's getting well..

ya ya.. here n there..








if i could turn back time
i want to turn back to 2nd half of 2007







dont ask why
only me could understand



mm..

i love looking at the past
because those are sweet for sure



future?
nobody knows
not even me


but at this kind of moment
i sometimes cant wait to see the future
the nearest future
next week

kiddy

hmm..apart from those lesson plan, news n political scandals, school, teachers, kids etc, lets take a look here. tgk gamba jom. xbyk pun..


this one. i guess i was 1yr plus and still tembam. trust me. masa kecik2 dlu i ni tembam:) i dont know why this pose but abah once said that i was not in the mood. see the couple behind me? thats my sis n bro, trying to get a better pose for me maybe. booo layan.

oh poor this one. dh rosak but fortunately the childhood moment can still clearly be seen. kiranye sempat diselamatkan la gamba ni. masa ni dah start susut ntah ke mana isi2 dan lemak2 ku sekalian. hee. yg ditengah2 berbaju merah itula saye. di cblh kanan ialah my sis, di cblh kiri ialah my cousin, with my lil bro. kat blakang tu ialah the one n only abang. masa ni kat KL. cuti skolah agaknye.

mm..ni dah besau cket. recognize me? hehe. ni pun kat KL at my aunty's. mase ni tgh addicted to video games smpi makan minum pun xbape nk layan.

oh childhood. thankful thankful. yes, guess i understand that world of _____. if only i could really feel the joy again as it was. if only i could remember my capability of understanding at each extent iv reached.

so that today, whenever i stand in front of the little crowd, i wont easily get mad and able to see things through the eyes of kids regardless of how grow up i am now.

anyway, what is the most attractive way to teach language? change the font each time? mm, kidding. not an idea!