mother defines perfect

being the happiest person since the first day of pregnancy, a mother is always in her

best position to understand the beautiful bond; a bond that keeps a mother alive and strong for her whole life of motherhood.

and for the kids, it is said that; the moment to understand mother's love is to raise a child on our own.

is it never too late?

***
abah kept reminding me the same old story over and over again;

mom was due to give birth to my lil bro in the end of March 1987 when i aged 4. occured a day before Keputeraan Sultan Kelantan, abah himself a teacher, together with my brother and sister attended the annual celebration at Istana Kubang Kerian which was a must. so, there were just three of us at home; mom, grandpa and i, when mom finally started frowning in pain. and ripleys'-believe-it-or-not, i applied some balm over mom's leg and gave a gentle massage. perhaps it was granpa who taught me but what matter is i did it! syukur, abah came home in a little while and got mom to the hospital.

God, i wish to always be a good daughter but i guess i'm not. after 20 years, i'm no more into massaging! i try to help mom but my heart is not in it.

and after 20 years, i'm still trying in vain to avoid myself having a fit of the sulks. small matter might even take two days. do i need to consult anyone anything? this is what i keep regretting because mom never complains and always be the one who breaks the ice. God, i keep hurting mom while mom keeps giving love.

my GOD,
on this Mother's Day, i pray that i would always show my love to mom, i pray that mom forever knows how much i love her, and i pray that i could live life as strong as she does with all the love she gives me and all the pain i give her.

my Mom,
if i have to define perfect, i would surely define you. but obviously im far not that perfect. i know i'm not that good. but i believe that i love you and forever will do.