important

think and think and think.
the way i always carry myself.
that might affect others.
and blow a smile away.
a smile of my own.

• i'm sorry that i sometimes love to laugh. i could easily laugh at something i'm not supposed to with NO intention to belittle others. i don't know how could it be such a spontanious respond. very bad, those who don't really know me would think that i'm humiliating their talks or actions. swear, i have never intended so.
  


• so i guess the above statement could explain why do people sometimes get wrong with my talk or act. of course it hurts but thankfully i can console myself on that. it's ok. but what if the wrong idea they get would hurt themselves as well?
  


• a large mood swing makes myself an unpredictable person. but not so complicated.
  

after all, it is hard to make myself understood. is this normal? if abnormal, how to cure then?

need no title

debushh. had a really bad hurt tragic frightening dream last night. it was a nightmare about ?@~ nope. i woke up at 6.30 and 15 mins later started the housekeeping until 11 just to forget it. i would cry all my life again should it really happen. just enough.

by the way, that straight 4hours working did actually help me settle a few of cleaning list. that's good. but i still have a lot to do with that 'tongkang pecah' upstairs, windows, and balcony. and the 'joy' is to do it all by myself. the wedding is a week away and i'll get it done. promise. this is the first wedding to be held at the house and that's why a lot need to be done. ok. i have to understand that. so, no complaint, just do it.

i'm currently not in a good state of emotion.